Allow me to introduce myself: I am Jacob Scott, an egotistic, anarchistic, antisocial bastard.

Being egotistic, I care only for my own benefit and entertainment. It irritates me when people wish to be treated with empathy. As such, I have come to despise society and the social order with an anarchistic passion, and have become deeply antisocial over the years. I do not enjoy talking to people, helping people, or even being with people. Music is my only lover and god.

Have no fear however, for you need never meet me in person. I cannot see you or hear you, and for all I know you don't exist. This pacifies me. In fact, I can be so polite that you may find it hard to believe that I could ever be so inhospitable. I have a feeling you and I will all have a marvellous time.

Therefore and without further ado, welcome... to Jacob Scott.

-Jacobus Caledonius Vipereus